Some are Gold.

I think back to the decision I made not so long ago to go to a little Christian college over 5 hours away from home. I hardly knew anyone and I was not used to being so far from my family. It was without a doubt the boldest decision I have made in my life (so far) and ironically, one of the most worthwhile.

I think back to the couple of weeks in Birmingham. I was very fortunate to meet someone that I could call a friend within a half-hour of my parents unloading my stuff and heading for home. I think back to those terrifying days of wondering if I was going to have to eat every meal alone, or spend every night in my single dorm room. Those were some dark days. However, it didn't last for long, soon I was going through rush and meeting people that were a lot like me. However, someone came creeping into my life and on day one, I never knew that she was going to change me forever.

Apparently, when Kelley first met me she thought I was weird. Luckily, I make great second impressions and she was willing to change her mind. Isn't that usually how it goes though? It always seems like the people I write off first are always the ones I end up

closest to. I feel like maybe there's a lesson there but I don't care to read too much into it. So anyways, we met through mutual friends, did not hit it off, rushed, joined the same sorority and the rest is history. Okay it's not quite that simple but that is a quick synopsis of our friendship.

Kelley is the first friend I've ever had the nerve to fight with. This is really saying something for someone who rarely is willing to yell and fight. Kelley and I have really had our share of doozies. My favorite is when we booked an airport hotel in Munich thinking it would be in a good location to catch an early flight, but realized that we actually booked it near the wrong airport. Who was to blame was unclear. And there wasn't a whole lot to be done about it besides booking a new flight. However, a good 15 minutes of yelling was necessary, probably just so that I could tell the story now. 

Kelley and I have been all over the world together. Ten countries, in fact. We have traveled over 10 hours on a plane together. Oh Lord, that was rough! Kelley was constantly screaming at me to sit still, stop talking, let her sleep. I followed Kelley around London from about 6 pm to about 6 am while she made me go to "all the best clubs". Then had to try to sober her up enough to get on the tube so we could go greet her family. Yeah good times. We traveled to Italy, just the two of us, walked through the streets of Venice and Rome, lived off pizza and wine, and slept behind the desk of a hotel.

Though I am not with her all the time like I used to be, when she used to sleep on my futon or I would sleep in her roommate's bed without her knowing (sorry Lauren!), I feel like when we get together, it is like nothing has ever changed. We talk nearly everyday, get together about once a month and vent about everything going on in our now-separate lives.

This weekend I am going to Birmingham to see Kelley and I'm sure we are going to have a rockin' time. We have big plans for karaoke, step sing, shopping and maybe, if I'm drunk enough, the Beiber Movie. I cannot wait!!!!!



Oh and it should be noted that I have consistently blogged three days in a row now. That's really impressive.

Dumpster Diving

Just like everyday, I went to English on Friday and there sat Jimmy. This is a kid that thinks he knows everything, thinks everything he has to say is the most important thing in the world. He is the classic example of a man that loves to hear his own voice. And if my description of him didn't tip you off, I can't stand him!!!

In English, every week, we have a reading assignment. This week I cracked open the book to find that our story was written by a man that lived on the streets and his experience and expertise on how to dumpster dive. Though he never felt sorry for himself, in reading his experience I felt overwhelming sadness for this man who perfected the art of digging through trash and finding "perfectly good pizza". This is a man, who through this experience, discovered just how much he could live without and how something we throw out because it is scratched or less than perfect is another man's treasure.

And what was Jimmy's reaction to this story, not that anyone asked? That this man was merely lazy. Jimmy is one of those ubber-Christian, uber-conservative types. You know the ones that give Christians the stereotype of judgmental and merciless? He insisted that there are plenty of jobs out there if you are willing to look hard enough and work. He suggested that maybe this man thought all the available jobs were beneath him. I'm telling you, I don't consider myself to be a violent person but I could have punched his lights out right then and there. How can a man that eats out of other peoples' trash think anything was beneath him?! And how can a man that spends his entire day lowering himself into dumpsters and going through every ounce of the stinking rotting trash just to find maybe one thing that he needs to make it until next week, be considered lazy?!

This being said, I am currently reading a book by Max Lucado entitled When God Whispers Your Name, and he talks about the humility of Christ. He says "The Almighty didn't act high and mighty. The Holy One wasn't holier than thou. The One who knew it all wasn't a know-it-all. The One who made all the stars didn't keep his head in them. The One who owns all the stuff of the earth never strutted it." Lord knows that he could have done all of those things and who could blame him? But instead he was humble and because of that, people found him approachable and more than that, they enjoyed being with Jesus.

This really got me thinking. What in my life do I have because of something good I did? Does the bible not tell us that every good and perfect gift is from above (James 1:17)? So where does Jimmy, a man that claims he is a child of God, get off judging someone because he is less fortunate. Now I know that my detest for Jimmy can get the better of me sometimes, because I too, have found myself falling into this cruel mindset. But I think that if my life was completely up to me, I'd have less than that man who managed to live for years off trash. On top of that, I can honestly say that if my only source of food was out of a dumpster, I wouldn't live for very long at all.

This whole experience taught me to be eternally grateful for all the blessings in my life because there are so many. It also taught me to be compassionate and merciful and not to judge other peoples' circumstances because I have no idea what they might have been through to get them there. Imagine if just one person went up to that man digging through the trash and offered him a warm, maybe even homemade, meal, what kind of impact that could have made on him. We as Christians need to be the light on the hill, a beacon of hope and people that someone can turn to when they are down on their luck and need a compassionate hug or just mercy.

Leaving Me Breathless...

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. ~Romans 8:28

Everyday we are faced with choices. Some that are small and insignificant such as what to eat for lunch or where to sit. However, some days we are faced with major crossroads, and forced to decide what we should do, a decision that may impact the rest of our lives. I think that it is funny, because even though many times throughout my life, I have been faced with a choice that at the time seemed nearly impossible to make, at the end of the day (or month or year), if we really look at the heart of the question and really think about what God is telling us, we do know the answer. Though we almost always know, often it does not seem so obvious until we look back at our life.

In thinking about my past and my journey from here and there, I can see God's hand in all of them. I think about my choice to go to Samford and how that is in no way a mistake. I learned so much in the year that I lived on my own, forced to make new friends, and learn to live without depending on anyone or anything for familiarity and direction. I thank God everyday for the friends that I made, including my best friend Kelley and how I'm not sure how I lived the first 18 years of my life without her or who I would be today. I think about the opportunity I had to go to London, and though the decision was rather rash, how it was so right. I think of all the things I learned about myself while living a continent away and the things I could live without and the ones that I couldn't. If it weren't for the semester in London, I may still think that I could be okay without ever again seeing my family and friends or eating Mexican. I look at all these major decisions and though they may have been tough at the time, it is so clear that it was in God's plan for me. I think about the decision I made to come home to Kentucky and crying one night to my mom and saying, "I just don't know if its what I'm supposed to do!" I see my life as it is now, and there is no question that it was the right decision, though it seems so complicated at the time.

Words cannot describe how much hope this gives me. It is not just up to me to decide what to do with my life but it is up to Someone that knows far more than me and about me. But here's where things seem a little more unclear. For so many of us, we have had to face the pain of a decision that was not up to us. We have had to struggle with the feeling that our lives are broken and that things are not going according to plan. Or sometimes God is calling us to do something that is not so easy. Something that may in fact hurt someone else or send us into a void of unknown. However, it is in these situations that God really gets to become a Mover and a Shaker.

He promises us that He will constantly be working through us for the good of us who love Him. He promises us that even when we cannot possibly imagine how we can make it through or how a situation can work out, that He has something even greater in the works. He is promising us that through the pain that we are forced to endure by living in this fallen world, that He is going to give us something great and at the same time maybe give something great to someone else. Does this not testify to the power of my God?! That He, betrayed by one of His arch angels and the creatures that He gave life to, can bring out good, and I mean good in a sense that I cannot possibly understand (not like I think chocolate is good) even through all the pain and evil. Not only does this testify to the power of God but also to His unfailing, everlasting, mercy that He, someone who could have wiped us all out and started over, chose to work for the good of us, even through all the pain that we created for ourselves through sin. And because this thought leaves me breathless, I'm going to take it a step further and wonder at the amount of love that he had for us to not only work towards our good but to send His Son to DIE for us so that he can spend eternity with us dwelling in His home.

I am humbled beyond words. I cannot thank my God enough for the knowledge and comfort that I take in knowing that even when I can't seem to see it through my pain, and even though it may take months, or years, or a lifetime, I will one day understand that God put me through pain for me to have the life He intended me to have. And thank God, He has a plan for me that is better than one I could actually have created for myself. It is in realizations like this I beg God to take the part of me that is always getting in the way of myself. Haha, but even with that part of me (which lets face it is most of me) He somehow manages to work in spite of it and sometimes even through it.

And on this note, I am exhausted (it is 4:21 am) and I am going to bed. I am thankful for my life that it is not my own, but is in the hands of Someone who is far more capable than me.