Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Some are Gold.

I think back to the decision I made not so long ago to go to a little Christian college over 5 hours away from home. I hardly knew anyone and I was not used to being so far from my family. It was without a doubt the boldest decision I have made in my life (so far) and ironically, one of the most worthwhile.

I think back to the couple of weeks in Birmingham. I was very fortunate to meet someone that I could call a friend within a half-hour of my parents unloading my stuff and heading for home. I think back to those terrifying days of wondering if I was going to have to eat every meal alone, or spend every night in my single dorm room. Those were some dark days. However, it didn't last for long, soon I was going through rush and meeting people that were a lot like me. However, someone came creeping into my life and on day one, I never knew that she was going to change me forever.

Apparently, when Kelley first met me she thought I was weird. Luckily, I make great second impressions and she was willing to change her mind. Isn't that usually how it goes though? It always seems like the people I write off first are always the ones I end up

closest to. I feel like maybe there's a lesson there but I don't care to read too much into it. So anyways, we met through mutual friends, did not hit it off, rushed, joined the same sorority and the rest is history. Okay it's not quite that simple but that is a quick synopsis of our friendship.

Kelley is the first friend I've ever had the nerve to fight with. This is really saying something for someone who rarely is willing to yell and fight. Kelley and I have really had our share of doozies. My favorite is when we booked an airport hotel in Munich thinking it would be in a good location to catch an early flight, but realized that we actually booked it near the wrong airport. Who was to blame was unclear. And there wasn't a whole lot to be done about it besides booking a new flight. However, a good 15 minutes of yelling was necessary, probably just so that I could tell the story now. 

Kelley and I have been all over the world together. Ten countries, in fact. We have traveled over 10 hours on a plane together. Oh Lord, that was rough! Kelley was constantly screaming at me to sit still, stop talking, let her sleep. I followed Kelley around London from about 6 pm to about 6 am while she made me go to "all the best clubs". Then had to try to sober her up enough to get on the tube so we could go greet her family. Yeah good times. We traveled to Italy, just the two of us, walked through the streets of Venice and Rome, lived off pizza and wine, and slept behind the desk of a hotel.

Though I am not with her all the time like I used to be, when she used to sleep on my futon or I would sleep in her roommate's bed without her knowing (sorry Lauren!), I feel like when we get together, it is like nothing has ever changed. We talk nearly everyday, get together about once a month and vent about everything going on in our now-separate lives.

This weekend I am going to Birmingham to see Kelley and I'm sure we are going to have a rockin' time. We have big plans for karaoke, step sing, shopping and maybe, if I'm drunk enough, the Beiber Movie. I cannot wait!!!!!

Oh and it should be noted that I have consistently blogged three days in a row now. That's really impressive.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

A Challenge

This past weekend, I have spent countless hours on Facebook. It truly amazes me how much of a time zapper that stupid website is, not that I have any intention of cutting back my facebook time. One of the more recent things that i have seen that I found interesting was this crazy 30 Day Picture Challenge. Now I am usually not one to jump on any bandwagons, especailly when it comes to facebook (i.e. Farmville, event week status, ect.) but I decided this is something that I would really like to do. However, so as not to completely fall into the crowd and clog up everybody's newsfeed, I am choosing to do it on my blog, because quite frankly you don't have to read it.

I am not making any promises about being completely consistent with this everyday deal. I am a little unreliable when it comes to my blogs (this was really brought to my attention when I logged on and saw that the last time I even thought about blogging was the beginning of January) but I do promise to give it my best shot. So here goes nothing...

Natural Science Museum in Cardiff, Wales

Apparently on day one I am supposed to post a picture of myself and ten random facts about myself. Hmmm,,,

1. I want to be a nurse that works with babies (NICU or Labor and Delivery) because I adore babies.
2. I was named after my greatmama Emma and I share my middle name with my mommy.
3. The best five months of my life was when I lived in London with my best friends and traveled all over Europe.
4. I currently live with two of the greatest women I know.
5. I am a very picky eater. I do not like any food that is green and I am very suspicious of all meat.
6. I have been obsessed with the Sims for over half of my life.
7. I love butterflies because I think they are beautiful but also because they are associated with Coldplay concerts.
8. I am addicted to Dr. Pepper. I have to have one everyday by about 2:30 pm or my head goes crazy.
9. I am easily bored and constantly looking for something extraordinary to do.
10. The most important thing about me is that I am a child of God and he has saved my soul more than once.

Okay well day one complete. I will be back tomorrow.

Monday, February 7, 2011


I am one of the most fearful people I know. If I were to really think about all the things I'm afraid of, I could probably think of about a thousand things in just five minutes. It really is somewhat crazy how much I fear the future, and the majority of the time, what I spend so much time worrying about never even happens. That's the funny thing about fear, it can completely drain a person of their energy and joy without ever having to actually come true. Mark Twain said, "I'm an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened." Anyone who knows me knows that I spend half of my time gripped with fear. I am always swerving my car to avoid a car that never intended to pull out in front of me. When reassured that nothing bad is about to happen, my mind immediately thinks up a thousand "what ifs..." that overrides all reassurance.

The bible discusses two types of fear. The first is a good kind that means a fear of the Lord. This is more of a kind of awe and reverence for the Lord and a respect for his power and potential wrath. Unfortunately, this is not the type of fear that consumes my mind. My problem is the second kind, more of a "spirit of fear". This is nearly the complete opposite of the healthy kind. This is the idea that life is constantly endanger of spinning out of control. And what I am really learning is that it is a symptom of a lack of faith.

Last week I went to church, having no idea that the sermon was going to be about me. As I sat there listening to the pastor talk about fear and worry, I began to fear that everyone was thinking about how this was about me. That's when i finally faced the music and realized that all the things I fear are completely stupid. And then I realized that all the things that I fear are really just the world's way of diminishing my faith. My constant worry, does me no go and nothing can be changed just because I spend countless hours worrying and fearing it. Instead I need to build up my faith in Christ, because it is only then that my fear can be defeated.

It is so difficult to change habits of the mind. However, I am commited to decreasing my fear and increasing my worry. This, I am realizing more and more, is not something that I will be able to change overnight. However, I am trying to rely on God's help and power to do it.

I feel like this is really the root of my blog. I have always dreamed of being carefree and willing to just "dance through life" and just when I think I am getting there, I slip up. I am determined to defeat fear. I am determined to be faithful and content with the idea that I am not in control. Instead, I am giving my life to someone who is far greater than I am. Someone who loves me more than I can understand and promises the best for me if I trust Him. And just the thought of not having to wake up every morning with a list of worries, but instead being able to wake up to prayer that gives my fears to God, is a total relief. I already feel like a weight has been lifted.

Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7