Derailed

Ever since I was a little girl, I've been taught that I could be whatever I wanted when I grew up. I was never one for any crazy dreams, I never wanted to be a rock-star or an astronaut but I always wanted to be something practical like a doctor or a veterinarian or even a missionary. As an adult, I started college with the dream of being a pediatric doctor only to find out that it wasn't for me. Instead I decided on something that was far less schooling and a lot more personal one on one time with patients. I chose to be a nurse.

My first semester at UK, I enrolled in pre-nursing classes such as anatomy and physiology and even chemistry. And though none of these classes were a walk in the park, I loved learning about the human body. For the first time in my life, I felt compelled to learn this stuff, not just to pass a test, but because one day, it was going to be real people that I would be working on and trying to help and it will probably be pretty important to understand how the body works. This summer I experienced my first set-back when I was not excepted into the nursing program. The letter said that I was not eligible because of not having the English class that UK feels is only properly taught in Lexington. I'm not going to lie, I was pretty bitter because I was told that you could be excepted even if you were missing one pre-req but I wasn't too surprised because after all I was a transfer student just finishing my first semester at UK.

However, today I found out that the advisor for the school of nursing is telling juniors not already excepted into the nursing program to either find another program or pick another major. This raises a huge question: what do you do when you are told that everything you want to do or be for the rest of your life is out of the question. What have I been working for now for over a year? What am I supposed to do now that I have been focused on why nursing is the perfect career for me? I can't just change my major and pick something else, I'll spend my whole life wondering how much happier I would be if I became a nurse.

I have no solutions for these questions. I have asked the people I love most in my life, and they don't seem to have any answers either. Throughout the day when I got to thinking about where my life is headed, and tears filled my eyes, I kept wanting to yell, "Please God, what am I supposed to do??!!" But oh Lord am I thankful for a God that is gracious enough to have a plan for me!!! I know that everything will work out for me the way God intended it to, even if it's hard to imagine right now. I can't imagine where my life is headed in the next three months but I'm going to sit here and wait patiently for the answer from God. I am going to let Him guide me through this crazy time and a life changing decision. My only prayer is that He let me know soon.